A Little Bit Of PTSD

Today, I’m headed to Manhattan ahead of my PET scan and appointment with my Oncologist at Sloan Kettering. I usually enjoy the drive down but this time I’m a little uneasy.


Last year at this time I had a scan and was told the Lymph nodes under my left arm (non-cancer side) lit up real pretty. That set off a battery of tests and biopsies to confirm the possible progression and to see if the pathology had changed. I also had my ribs biopsied again as they also looked suspicious on the scan and had been bothering me for some time.

It had all turned out OK. No progression in either the nodes or the rib but it was probably the second most stressful time since my diagnosis AND it all happened right before my birthday, which happens to be this Sunday.

As I sit in the passenger seat of the car writing this and remembering the events of last year at this time, it’s hard not to let my mind go to that place. That place where I imagine my Oncologist saying she’s sorry but the Cancer has spread to (pick an organ of your choice). Don’t get me wrong, I’m not being “negative”. This is fear and the fear is real. At some point this IS going to happen. It COULD be tomorrow.

So, until then, I will put in my ear buds and listen to my favorite music that takes me to my happy place and try to refocus my thoughts. There is Adam’s graduation to look forward to next month and all the festivities leading up to that day so regardless of what happens, I’m not going to let it get im my way.

See y’all on the other side…. xoxo

9 thoughts on “A Little Bit Of PTSD

  1. Anna November 3, 2017 / 8:10 pm

    Nice post.

  2. Pat Wetzel May 17, 2017 / 8:16 pm

    Happy birthday! Just be here now…Keeping my fingers crossed for good scan news!

  3. Bill and Pat May 16, 2017 / 6:17 pm

    We’re with you, Susan. Praying for good news tomorrow. And “pre” HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!! Love, MOM

  4. Carole W May 16, 2017 / 2:06 pm

    Sending good thoughts and warm BIRTHDAY wishes

  5. Breastcancerconscript May 16, 2017 / 12:14 pm

    You got this sister, no matter what! Fighting the good fight right along side you.

    • stickit2stage4 May 16, 2017 / 9:28 pm

      Thank you! We have to keep pushing forward no matter what.

  6. Cathy S May 16, 2017 / 9:54 am

    Hoping for good results – deep breaths –

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