On the Road Again

 

Today I’m making my favorite trip again. *eyeroll*  I’m headed down to Sloan-Kettering for another fast and dirty trip for a PET/CT.

The last time I updated regarding my health, I was going to see a GI Oncologist at Sloan on September 28th to see if she could unravel the mystery that is me. I had only planned on being there over night so I booked the train for Tuesday, September 27th and invited my Mom to come along! In past 3 yrs she had never come with me to NYC so I thought this would be a good time for some girl time. Oh, life….it has such a way of throwing irony at you at the worst times.

Our trip to Manhattan was pretty typical. We were delayed. I can’t even get mad any more but I do get a chuckle when I hear the people around me freaking out about it. We ended up being about 3 hrs late getting in and we were pretty tired so, my grand plans of doing some sightseeing were squashed.

The day of my appointment with the GI Doc, we got there early – 9am. I always get to appointments early in the hopes that I can get in early. Nope. We waited almost 2 hrs before I was called back. It was another 90 minutes before I actually saw my Doc. I saw her nurse who took my vitals and I saw her Assistant who did a very intense intake. Then I waited some more. I was getting nervous because we had a train to catch at 3:40pm.

At almost 1pm, Dr. Ludwig walked in. I loved her almost immediately. She listened. She heard me. She validated me. She promised me she would get to the bottom of what was going on. And then she freaked me out with what she said next: “You need to change your plans because you’re not leaving today. I need to get you into imaging right away. Sit tight I’m going to make some calls right now and get some scans scheduled.”  *Gulp*

Then things seemed to go pretty fast. I had to make 2 calls immediately – one to the hotel and the other to Amtrak. Then a nurse came out – “Dr. Ludwig wants you to do a Colonoscopy and Endoscopy on Friday the 30th” Yeah, no. I had to give a speech at Adam’s school that day. I would have to come back. So, we scheduled that for the following Monday, October 3rd. (Sheesh!)

At 2pm I finally had my appointment time for an abdominal x-ray and a Lumbar/Thoracic Spine MRI. Two different locations. 5pm and 7pm. We could finally leave, go get lunch and relax before we had to go back out make our way to my appointments.

The Imaging office for the MRI was at an affiliate location connected with Sloan and in a very upscale part of Manhattan. While I was filling out the paperwork. My Mom started poking my arm and whispered loudly – “LOOK!”  I looked up and standing at the counter checking in was – and I’m not even kidding – Martha (freaking) Stewart. In all the times I have been to NYC this was the first time I had ever seen a celebrity let alone sat within 2 feet of one. My Mom was literally seconds away from talking to her when someone came out and whisked her away for her x-ray. And just like that she was gone.

While I was waiting for the MRI, I received a call from Dr. Ludwig’s office. The abdominal x-ray I had an hour earlier was OK and I was officially scheduled for the Colonoscopy/Endoscopy for the following Monday. (Joy!)

To make a long story….well, it’s too late to make it short so I’ll just jump to the why I’m going to Sloan today. So, the MRI was negative for any spinal compression or metastasis that would cause my spontaneous GI episodes. The Abdominal x-ray was negative for any obstructions. The Colonoscopy/Endoscopy was OK. The biopsies that were done – there were 4, including a gastric polyp, were negative. She also tested me for C.Diff, H.Pylori, and Colitis. It was noted that my stomach is very inflamed and angry. All of this is GREAT NEWS. The best news. One tiny little problem….I’m still losing weight, I’m still not able to eat all the time, I’m still battling nausea and I’m having GI issues and I just don’t feel good.

tumblr_m5k5mldi9q1rosz13o1_400

There was a question as to when I would have my next set of scans. Stick to the 3 month plan or wait until February which would be 6 months. I was almost inclined to wait, however when Dr Modi, my Oncologist at Sloan heard that I’m not better and I’m down another 6lbs her office called me and said she wanted me to have the PET now.

I usually have the results the same day – one of the awesome things I love about Sloan – but my scan is late (3:45pm) and it’s a Friday so I’m not anticipating hearing anything until Monday.

*Fingers Crossed* Hoping to keep my ‘unremarkable’ PET scan streak going a little bit longer.

15032097_1201583599888652_5823501178166389397_n

 

Before You Post That Meme….

​We’ve barely had time to dip our collective toe into September and the just like the Christmas decorations we see way ahead of schedule, it seems the Pink ooze that is October has already begun.

To be perfectly honest, I feel like asking for my high blood pressure meds back (that I finally got off of) until November arrives.

Breast cancer is the ONLY disease that is sexualized and trivialize. It’s the ONLY illness that is treated like a sorority, where you’re literally welcomed in by others. Do men go around wearing a jock on the outside of their clothes in the name of ‘awareness’ for testicular cancer? Do they wear a strap on to to bring awareness to the CAUSE of penile cancer? Nope…because it’s ridiculous.

So, why sexualize cancer of the breast? What’s the point of a cryptic Facebook post, really? How is a selfie going to help anyone in actual need? What is going without a bra truly going to do for anyone? And who is going to know you’re doing it unless you either go topless or wear a thin white t-shirt to show your bare breasts – which again is only sexualizing a deadly disease….a disease that kills 113 women in the U.S. every day. A disease that I will die from because we still don’t have a cure for.

Some of these ‘fun and games’ in the name of awareness even hijack the one and only day dedicated to the Breast Cancer that kills – Metastatic Breast Cancer Awareness Day  (October 13th). You’d think that out of 31 days MBC would get more than one day of recognition. After all 40,450 Men and Women will die in 2016 because of Metastatic Breast Cancer. Don’t they deserve more than one day?

I’ve been accused of being angry and insensitive because isn’t any awareness good for the cause? I make no apologies for my strong opinions about my emphatic objections to the way Breast Cancer has been reduced to a cute, sexy marketing campaign and not the serious and potentially deadly disease that kills so many YOUNG women as well as men every day/every year.

If raising awareness is important to you personally, it would seem to me that actually doing something that would have a direct impact on folks with Breast Cancer or helping to educate those that could benefit from it would be the better option than just choosing to do something that you could do any other day of the week.

The day I stop being angry and pissed off about how the public views and treats Breast Cancer will be the day the landscape changes or more realistically, the day I die from MetastaticBreast Cancer.

As The Stomach Turns

So, I’ve been dealing with nausea, weight-loss, lack of appetite and change in bowel habits (diarrhea) since maybe March. No one has been able to figure it out. No one wants to take ownership of it. Not my Oncologist and not my GP. We’ve just been monitoring it.

Nothing stands out in my labs, my Oncologist adjusted the dose of my Ibrance. Palliative Care gave me a stronger anti-nausea medication and now I have Reglan. But nothing changes.

Except that now I have fun things happening that required me to make an appointment with my OBGYN. I just assumed that all the estrogen suppressing meds have finally taken its toll. Not so much.

When I caught my Dr up on the shit show (pun intended) of the last 6 months she took it all in. She asked me questions. Then she did her exam. Boy I had NOT missed that. Ladies you know what I mean. I was a bit confused when she told me she was going to do an internal exam but why not? Let’s go for the full treatment. When she went to the left side of my abdomen and pressed I let out a sound I didn’t know I could make and I’m quite sure broke windows. My Dr looked at me with a very grim face. She said (and I’m quoting her), “I’m very concerned about you. That area is your colon. Given your medical history you need a complete GI work up as soon as possible. This has gone on far too long”

Well, shit. I’m torn between feeling satisfaction that SOMEONE finally heard me and on the other hand being totally freaked out that there is something really very wrong and has been wrong for a long time.
I’m very anxious to get to Sloan Kettering now. I’m curious to get Dr Modi’s opinion and input on this whole GI thing. I know she can’t do much for me that day but she can order the tests and I can have them done when I get back home. I am hoping that if there is extra blood work she can request that she does so I can get a peek into what may be going on. One thing about Sloan, the labs turn the blood work around with lightning speed.

Unfortunately, I have been on the Google and I know I shouldn’t have but I need to know as much as I can so there are absolutely no surprises. I’d rather know all the worst case scenarios now and have it be something minor than bank on it being minor and being smacked in the head with something horrible.

The count down starts…..

Viewpoint with Ken Rosato

 

Just a quick follow up post.

The interview I did with Compassion & Choices New York a few weeks ago, aired last night. I wanted to share it here for those of you that may not regularly visit Facebook or Twitter.

I’m very pleased with how this turned out. Sometimes after editing, an interview can look very different than how it really happened. Not so this time. There was literally no editing done (that I could see anyway).

I’m very appreciative of the way Ken Rosato handled the interview and questions. He was every bit the professional you’d expect while also very understanding and compassionate about the subject matter.

Ken, if I’m lucky enough to have you read this: Thank you SO much for giving Medical Aid In Dying a platform on Viewpoint. You’ll never know how much it meant to me.

Our segment is the second one once you click on the link.

http://abc7ny.com/society/new-york-viewpoint/32277/

The Numbers are Not in My Favor

At my last update there was concern over my rising tumor marker: CA 27.29. I had my labs done on Thursday and the decision was made to schedule a PET/CT for August 2nd. The rising numbers coupled with my continued weight loss (I’m averaging about 10lbs a month) and my over all feeling like crud has my team feeling there is enough concern to warrant the scan. 

I’ve been thinking all morning. I’m working in a visit to Sloan Kettering on August 5th to see my Primary Oncologist while Adam and I tour NYU. I’m going to see if the PET can be done earlier that same morning before my Dr appointment. I haven’t been scanned there in a while and due to the mixed reading I recently had that involved the lymph nodes, I feel it would be best if Sloan could do it. Hopefully, all the stars align and it works out. *fingers crossed*

On a lighter note….I recently returned from a quick advocacy trip to NYC. 

Compassion & Choices asked if I would share my story and why I support Medical Aid In Dying with WABC7’s Ken Rosato for his Weekend Show – Viewpoint. Of course I said yes! It’s important to keep this important topic at the forefront and keep the conversations going. It’s the only way to gain traction and enlighten people about why terminally ill people, like myself, want this legislation. 

The interview took place at the WABC7 studio in Manhattan. The same studio that Kelly Ripa and Rachel Ray call home! In fact, Kelly Ripa was live on the air when we arrived.

Corinne Carey, the Director of the NY Chapter of Compassion & Choices and I sat with Ken Rosato for 10 minutes. Corinne spoke about the facts and statistics of the other states that already have these laws in effect. I shared a shorter version of my story and why I’m in support. I also stressed to Ken that I am in NO way suicidal nor do I WANT to die. I want to live. God, do I want to live. That’s so important for me to have people that don’t know me understand. I so hope I made that clear. I think I did.

The segment, I’ve been told will air on July 27th and again in October. I’ll be sure to post links on my Facebook Blog Page and Twitter.

At least I didn’t look as awful as I felt on the day of the interview. 😉