When is it Time to Say ‘Uncle’?

It’s been a LONG week. No, a really long ass Mother Fucker of a week.

It’s going on day 4 of the elevator in my building being out of commission. We live on the 4th floor. That means 6 flights down and 8 up every time I leave the confines of the 4 walls I live in. Now, I could go down 4, cut across to the other building, end up outside and then walk to the end of the street to the parking garage. Then do the whole thing in reverse when I get home. Either way you slice it its a gigantic pain in the balls and way too much walking when you don’t feel good or when your bone and joint pain is off the charts.


My question is this: what if I was in a wheelchair?  How am I leaving ny residence when there is no way around having to go down 4 flights of stairs?? Because this isn’t the case, no one seems to give a shit. No one.

I had been told (and I have the email to prove it) that all would be fixed by Friday.  Well, guess what? It’s after 6pm on Friday and the elevator is STILL NOT WORKING. This means that it’s going to be at least Monday now and there isn’t a guarantee THAT will be the case.


The management company is aware of my illness and that my cancer is in my bones. They have not made one single concession other than to say the maintenance guys would help me with any bags or groceries. Oh really??? And how the fuck would I track them down???  When you need someone its literally impossibleto find anyone. So, thanks gobs and gobs but I’ll figure it out on my own.

Today, I finally got the report back on my Echo-cardiogram. Turns out it’s MOSTLY OK. The two issues is that my Mitral Valve and my Tricuspid Valve are both regurgitating. The dumbed down explanation is that those valves don’t close all the way like they should and blood is flowing back up into the chambers. This could explain the fatigue, the edema in my ankles and feet and my shortness of breath. I’m being referred to a Cardiologist. Awesome. Hopefully, I’ll know more after I see him/her.


On top of all this fantasticness (it’s a technical term, trust me), my next PET scan is Friday, June 5th. My Oncologist also ordered a CT of my abdomen and pelvis. This is where I find out if I’m still NED’s #1 girl or if NED gives me the old “It’s not you, it’s me” speech. I have no feeling about it one way or the other. Am I nervous? Sure. Do I think there will be progression? I honestly can’t say. I’ve been absolutely, totally positive in the past it would be bad news only to find out it was good. So, I have no clue. I have had increased back pain and there is a spot on my ribs that has thickened quite a bit but that could be nothing. I’ve also been quite forgetful and have been mixing up my words. It’s been noticeable to my son. Enough so, that he has commented about it. I’ve also had a significant increase in migraines. Does this mean I’m worried about my beautiful brain? Not especially. I can’t worry about what is out of my control.  The results will be what they will.

Maybe the bullshit of the elevator not working will keep my mind off the fact that I have scans this week and I’m adding a Cardiologist into the mix.  Or maybe the stress of it all on top of all the stair climbing will cause my heart to explode and it will all me a moot point. All I know is that if that WERE to happen, I wouldn’t be all that torn up.

Wait….is there really a stairway to heaven??????  On second thought….