side effects

Vaccines, Shots and Scan Results

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When I scheduled my COVID booster, I didn’t look at the calendar. I always check my calendar—this time, I did not. I checked with my oncologist to see if I could get the vaccine before a PET/CT. You can’t, by the way. So when I scheduled my COVID booster, I didn’t know it was the day before my Faslodex shots. I will never make that mistake again. I historically have a complete immune response that includes high fever, muscle pain, bone pain, chills, and headaches. To add insult to injury, I also had them give me the flu vaccine because why not feel the absolute worst I can possibly feel at one time.

I did try to change my vaccine appointment, but it would have pushed it out to the middle of October. I wasn’t comfortable with that. Onward. As expected, I had all the side effects. I also didn’t sleep because of them. I shivered and sweated while watching my new favorite show: Bones. How did I miss it when it was on? My fever reached 102.5, and I contemplated canceling my Faslodex appointment more than once. Hourly, in fact.
When Tuesday morning arrived, I choked down some Tylenol with some very strong coffee and slowly got ready for my appointment.

An Unexpected Surprise

It turns out this wasn’t going to be a normal Faslodex appointment. It was also time to get my Xgeva shot. Xgeva helps keep my bones strong-ish. It’s a small subcutaneous injection but really packs a punch. I get it every three months. Let’s not forget the port draw I wasn’t expecting. Honestly, that is typically the least painful even without numbing cream. We did the Faslodex first. The alcohol they swab your behind with didn’t dry completely. I knew this as soon as they jabbed the needles into me because it burned something awful. The sensation went all the way down my legs. That always makes it feel like the shots last FOR-EVER.

My angry port.

The port draw was next. The nurse jammed the large thumbtack-like needle into my port. She fidgeted with it and told me to turn my head to the left (my port is on the right). She wasn’t getting a blood return. The nurse raised the foot on the reclining chair I was in and released the back, so I was lying down in this chair. Still no blood. The nurse explained she needed to use a medication called Alteplase which would break up the small clot preventing the blood from coming thru my port. I had to sit while the Alteplase did its thing. Thirty minutes later, the nurse could get blood return and draw my labs. Finally, she administered the Xgeva, and I was free to go.

Scan Results

Good news. There were no new metastasis seen and my new friend in my kidney is still too small to be seen. I’m thankful my oncologist agreed to the PET after my previous scans. It makes me nervous to think if she had gone with the June scans, and the inconsistencies, and decided to change my treatment how that would have gone. We agreed to scan again in March.

Dear Cancer, Kiss This!

Door #1, 2 or 3

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I have been on a medically approved break from my Aromatase Inhibitor since June. Since then I have been able to lose 15lbs and I’ve felt so much better.

While I’ve been on this break I have been seriously considering making this break permanent.  Whelp, my Oncologist got wind of my thoughts and wrote me an email. She was very stern and let me know that this was only to be a short break and that at our next meeting we would discuss other options.

Fuck

Last Wednesday was my appointment with my Oncologist. I repeated my thoughts and told her that quality of life was becoming a higher priority for me. Let’s face it, at some point I will have progression. This will happen on or off meds. No one knows when this will happen. I’m very comfortable rolling the dice at this point.

BUT…I did hear her out.  My Oncologist offered me 3 different Aromatase Inhibitor options: Anastrozle, Toremifene or Raloxifene.  The first two have the same side effects as what I was on but includes blindness and urinating blood. FUN!!  The other includes more weight gain, swelling of hands and feet and more.

image

Her other option was sending me to a surgeon that would give me a lumpectomy. She would only feel comfortable with my choice to stop meds if I removed the cancer from my breast. She told me that the MRI I had in June did show uptake as did the deeper tumor that we were unable to biopsy.  My metastasis bypassed my lymph system and went directly to my bones so she explained that doing nothing and taking no meds is like playing a game of Russia Roulette with a loaded gun. It wouldn’t be a matter of IF but WHEN.

Fuck

Tomorrow, I see the surgeon. I will discuss with her the lumpectomy and I will also ask about a mastectomy as well.  I know a mastectomy might be overkill and a much harder surgery but if I’m going to consider surgery I would be remiss in not covering this topic.

Then I have to make a decision:

Door #1: begin a new Aromatase Inhibitor
Door #2: Lumpectomy  or
Door #3: No surgery, No meds

I’ll be honest and I know I’ll catch shit for this but, gun to my head, if I had to decide right this second…I choose Door #3.  Here’s why….

What if I don’t progress for 5, 10, 15 yrs? What if I never progress before something else does me in? What if??

After how completely shitty I’ve felt taking Exemestane and the 4 weeks of Letrozole, I’m not in a hurry to go back to that. Yes, I know chemo is much, much worse. But who knows when I will have to pony up to that bridge and (more brutal truth) I’m not certain I will decide to do chemo. There are so many considerations that will go into THAT decision. First and foremost will be what age and where my son is in his life.

I realize I may catch all kinds of shit for my lack of drive and perseverance when it comes to my treatment but please understand, I’m in a different place in my life. I don’t have young children, I’ve already had some amazing experiences, vacations and career. I’m pretty content and whether I have 2 yrs or 20 yrs, I don’t want to be sick, hurting or be a drag on my family.

So….this is where I am. I have a feeling I’ll have to decide sooner than later and by that I mean this week.

I will update again soon…

Acupuncture For The Beginner

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My Oncologist suggested I try acupuncture to help with the side effects of the Exemestane I’ve been taking for the last 10 months as well as nerve damage from radiation I had to my ribs. To be honest, I wasn’t happy at the prospect of more needles but these are not supposed to hurt and I am SO ready to feel some relief that I figured it couldn’t make things worse…. Right??

So, I had my first acupuncture treatment last week and you wouldn’t believe how it started.

Ready??

The woman (thank God she waa female because I would have walked out otherwise – you’ll see why shortly). I was told to disrobe but to leave my bra and underwear on and to lay down on the table. She would step out and come back when I was ready. She takes my pulse on both arms and says my Chi is totally fucked up and slow. Well we can’t have this so I need to get unblocked or else none of what she has planned will work. To do this she needs to put 4 needled is 4 very specific spots because they form a kind of circle. So she begins to explain that one goes in my chin…the other in my upper gum area above my teeth…another goes in my tail bone and the last one goes in my …..(sit down for this).. my perineum (you know, that space we have between our vagina and our anus). Now these needles don’t stay there, she just pokes them in and yanks them out. I can still feel that one in my ‘special spot’ and I left my appointment a week ago.

She had me sit up and she mapped out the placement of about a dozen needles she put up and down my back. These she left in place for 10 minutes. Finally she had me lay back down and she put what looked like little piles of ash on my chest and lit them on FIRE…yes, I said fire. I was instructed to let her know when I felt the heat and she would scoop the ash off. At the end she checked both pulses again. She said I was good to go and I left.

After I left I began to doubt the good this will do because how could putting needles near my lady parts and burning ash on me help??? Well, I did the thing I do best and I Googled. I found a message board on an acupuncture site and posted my concern. It took a while but I did get some replies. I was told that this was very common with someone who practices The Five Elements Acupuncture and that those four needles are usually done in the first or second session. The ash is called Moxa and its done before the insertion of needles on certain points. It was suggested that I give it 3-4 treatments before I decide to quit.

I’m going to give her the benefit of the doubt and continue going but there is NO way she’s doing those 4 points again.

Moral of the story….if you go to an acupuncturist make sure you ask where she might put those fucking needles before you find yourself in that familiar gynecological position with a strange woman’s hand up your cooch!!

I’ll let y’all know how this drama ends and if it gives me any relief.

***I never went back and never felt and benefit whatsoever. I do have friends that swear by acupuncture so I would suggest that you get a recommendation from a friend or someone that has been to wherever you choose to go.