15 Days In And I Already Want A Do-Over

I’m not going to lie. The end of the year was rough. There was what felt like, an unprecedented number of deaths in my circles. So, when January came a knockin’, well I was all too happy to close the books on 2015.

But it didn’t stop. The deaths and bad news just keeps coming and it’s becoming too much. I’m afraid to open my Facebook or Twitter because I know that there will be more bad news.


I’ve been feeling very much like I’m in a similar situation as the movie The Hunger Games. Any one of our names could get called for the last fight of our life. It’s just a matter of when – not if. Every time I hear another beautiful, strong advocate had her name called I wish the same wish – that I could give them more time. More time with their children. More time to give hugs and kisses. More time to read stories. More time to say “I love you”.

Then I begin to wonder when I’ll hear my name called out in the crowd. When will my time come when things go sideways and I have to be stronger than I’ve ever been and make decisions I’ve been hoping I’d never have to make. It scares me because I’ve watched the health of my sisters go from NED (No Evidence of Disease) to being out of treatment options and taking their last breath in a matter of months.

When will people notice? When will people begin to care? When will there be outrage and anger for all the children that will grow up without their Mothers?


Every day I yell and rant hoping that someone listens. Hoping that someone helps us. It can be very discouraging when the bad news keeps coming but I won’t stop. I can’t stop. I will keep yelling, ranting and making noise until someone hears us, until someone listens

My Disease Is Not A Game

It’s happening again. The Facebook games and I don’t mean Candy Crush.

It usually happens closer to October but it seems that lately these games just keep going on a loop. The latest one, I’m sure you’ve seen, is an obscure Facebook post. When you read it you’re not sure if the person was drunk or just trying to get attention. They go something like: “Ran out of toilet paper…goodbye sox.” If you comment or ‘like’ it you get a message that informs you that you need to pick from one of the listed status and post it for Breast Cancer Awareness”.

Are you fucking kidding me?

In what universe does this do anything for anybody? Are you donating money for research?? Are you quoting statistics and educating? No, you’re turning a deadly disease into a joke and pissing a lot of people off in the process.

I’m going to die because  of Breast Cancer. Posting about winning the lottery or having a foot fungus is NOT going to help me and excusing your ignorance in the name of ‘awareness’ just makes you sound even more ridiculous.


There is another, even more atrocious, game going on right now under the guise of Breast Cancer “awareness”. The general idea is to take a picture with a strategically placed can or bottle of Coke. The man behind this obscene meme is so proud of any and all attention that I’m not even going to say his name. I’ll call him Voldermort. Needless to say Voldermort is a smarmy degenerate in the porn industry.  What’s worse is that well known magazines like Esquire and Cosmopolitan have published stories about his brainchild and I’m afraid it’s not going away yet.

Breast Cancer is the only cancer that’s sexualized. It’s also the only Cancer with a marketing plan. It’s pretty offensive to those of us dying of this disease. There are 108 women who die every day from breast cancer. That’s 40,000 every year and that number is expected to go up this year according to The American Cancer Society.


What troubles me the most is that there isn’t more outrage about these games. I’ve heard that Coke is weighing their options but nothing else has happened. I went to the Facebook page that was created for the posting of pictures and reported it to Facebook. I’ve also reported every posting I find. Of the 7 postings I’ve reported to Facebook due to obvious nudity NONE were removed. Per Facebook, the posts don’t violate their standards. What, the what?? They’re kidding, right?? Is this the same Facebook that happily deletes mastectomy and reconstruction pictures??

So, what Facebook is saying is that they promote gratuitous nudity and frown upon education. As long as you have perfectly perky augmented breasts you can show them off but if you have scars, tattoos where breasts used to be or reconstructed breasts that may or may not have reconstructed nipples you will be deleted. You are not important. Well, I’m sorry but the latter is TRUE Breast Cancer awareness.

When will people begin to realize that Cancer is not a game. It’s not a Facebook status. It’s a shitty disease that takes your health, your financial stability, your relationships, your friendships, and your ability to hold a job. If you don’t think it’s all that bad then step right up and live a day in my life or a day in one of my friends lives. I guarantee you’ll run your sorry ass back home as fast as you can.


So, please, please stop these games when you see them. Let those participating know that Cancer is not a game, it’s not funny and it certainly isn’t awareness.