15 Days In And I Already Want A Do-Over

I’m not going to lie. The end of the year was rough. There was what felt like, an unprecedented number of deaths in my circles. So, when January came a knockin’, well I was all too happy to close the books on 2015.

But it didn’t stop. The deaths and bad news just keeps coming and it’s becoming too much. I’m afraid to open my Facebook or Twitter because I know that there will be more bad news.


I’ve been feeling very much like I’m in a similar situation as the movie The Hunger Games. Any one of our names could get called for the last fight of our life. It’s just a matter of when – not if. Every time I hear another beautiful, strong advocate had her name called I wish the same wish – that I could give them more time. More time with their children. More time to give hugs and kisses. More time to read stories. More time to say “I love you”.

Then I begin to wonder when I’ll hear my name called out in the crowd. When will my time come when things go sideways and I have to be stronger than I’ve ever been and make decisions I’ve been hoping I’d never have to make. It scares me because I’ve watched the health of my sisters go from NED (No Evidence of Disease) to being out of treatment options and taking their last breath in a matter of months.

When will people notice? When will people begin to care? When will there be outrage and anger for all the children that will grow up without their Mothers?


Every day I yell and rant hoping that someone listens. Hoping that someone helps us. It can be very discouraging when the bad news keeps coming but I won’t stop. I can’t stop. I will keep yelling, ranting and making noise until someone hears us, until someone listens

My Disease Is Not A Game

Every October a new social media game circulates and I don’t mean Candy Crush.

I’m sure you’ve seen one of them. Either it’s is an obscure post or you’re send a DM with instructions on what to post. When you read it you’re not sure what’s going on. They go something like: “Ran out of toilet paper…goodbye sox.” If you comment or ‘like’ it you get a message that informs you that you need to pick from one of the listed status and post it for Breast Cancer Awareness”.

Are you KIDDING me?

In what universe does this do anything for anybody? Are you donating money for research?? Are you quoting statistics and educating? No, you’re turning a deadly disease into a joke and causing a lot of people anger and sadness in the process.

I’m going to die because of breast cancer. Posting about winning the lottery or having a foot fungus is NOT going to help me and excusing your ignorance in the name of ‘awareness’ just makes you sound even more ridiculous.


There is another, even more atrocious, game that happens under the guise of Breast Cancer “awareness”. On October 13th, it’s “Don’t Wear A Bra Day.” I am not sure everyone understands that a large majority either had one or both breasts amputated. Those who have undergone reconstruction will never have their pre-cancer breasts again. Still there are other women who have chosen to go flat. They have no breasts whatsoever. Games like this sexualize cancer and demean those women impacted by breast cancer. The worst part of this game is the date. October 13th is also Metastatic Breast Cancer Awareness Day. This is the kind of breast cancer I have and there is NO CURE.

Breast Cancer is the ONLY cancer that’s sexualized. It’s also the only cancer with a marketing plan. It’s pretty offensive to those of us dying of this disease. In the United States, it is estimated that 120 women and men will die every day from breast cancer. That’s 43,730 people every year according to The American Cancer Society. To put that in perspective, when I was diagnosed in 2013, that daily number of deaths was 108.


What troubles me the most is that there isn’t more outrage about these games. I went to the Social Media page that was created for the posting of pictures like that and reported it. I’ve also reported every posting I find. Of the postings I’ve reported to due to obvious nudity NONE were removed.

When will people begin to realize that Cancer is not a game. It’s not a Facebook status. It’s a crappy disease that takes your health, your financial stability, your relationships, your friendships, and your ability to hold a job. If you don’t think it’s all that bad then step right up and live a day in my life or a day in one of my friends lives. I guarantee you’ll run back home as fast as you can.


So, please, please stop these games. When you see them, let those participating know that Cancer is not a game, it’s not funny and it certainly isn’t awareness.